lu[CI]ana

my song from the heart and soul

2007-11-28T14:07:00.001+07:00

this song from my heart to my heart and soul

is it hard to live on?even life is too hard!!

2007-10-03T19:23:00.000+07:00

life is not easy, not just like u flush ur toilet, all the bad things will gone and back to normal..

life is not easy as when u turn ur hand or twist the things..

life is hard to find, to pass through or even to stay in the condition that we face..

when u have trouble, u blame god is unfair, but u still ask for help

when u face the truth, u said i dont want to stay life, i want to dissappear and never back

but when u try to stay on, every single problem, the trouble will always comes and it never ends

is it hard to live on?

to live, we need the courage, but everytime the courage come, the new problem will come as well

to live, we need belief, but when belief facing, the doubt of living will come and it will never end

to live, we need to try, but every time we try, we always fall down, and try to face up the sky.

is it hard to live on?

live in this life, every problems and trouble always come, and it always have the answer

live in this life, every tears will drop but it will never dry up

live in this life, every single brave will face the darkness but in never end.

is it hard to live on?

i try to stand by my self, but i still need help, dont i?

i try to face the truth, but i still cry and want to run away, dont i?

even i try to breath, sometime i want to stop breathing, and hope everything will be fine after that..

but im thinking, when i stop to live on, what will happen to the others?

is it hard to live on?

hour by hours i always think, but why this mind never stop thinking even for awhile?

day by days i always worry, but why this worried is never gone?

year by years i always live, but why this life seems to be hard to live on?

is it hard to live on?

when the problems comes, we always solve it, but the new one is always waiting..

when the tears drop, we always smile but why it still drops?

when this heart still beating, we always thanks but why sometime we want to give up on it?

is it hard to live on?

we know this world is never stop to round, because its impposible

we know the sun always shining in the morning, and we know it always happen

we know every day will become a night, and wheel always rounding..

but why we never realize that we always have reason to make everything right

is it hard to live on?

thats question always sounding in my head, and is it really hard to answer?

life is too hard, that statement always passing in my mind and is it really hard to still alive?

every problems have the answer to solve

every worriedness have the reason to show

every tears have the right to drop

every single days have the reason to pass through

will it be hard to stay and live on?

i dont want to stop thinking, i dont want to stop crying

coz it is life that we live on, we always have reason

i dont want to stop worrying, i dont want to stop pretending

coz it is world that we live on, we always have to do it

sometime i dont want the problem come to visit

but when it visit, we have something new that we learnt

sometime i dont want to stay live on

but in this live, we have the meaning of life

is it hard to believe?thats hard to live on, but we still need to live

there is nothing wrong with the problem..sometime we made the problem

there is nothing wrong with the life..sometime we need to be strong

and there is nothing wrong with make the mistake, coz with the mistake we always learn

but somepeople will understand and always move on..

life is something that we have to be blame, be the trouble, be the love, be the hate and to be understand

live is something that we have to breath, to courage, to fall down, and to stand up back and move forward

nothings wrong with that..no matter what happen, past is the past..

trying to not be regret, but its ok to regret sometime..we still move on

dont give up, coz the solution it will never appear when we give up..

trouble will come for sure, problem will appear to face through

but human always made to back up each other, and stay to live on..

is it hard to believe?thats we always have someone on our back to back up anything, but please dont have the doubt

im trying to be good, to solve every problems and im trying to not give up until i lost my breath away

im trying to take care, this life that we had and im tryin to keep it until god take it back.

believe in me when i believe in you..

believe in solution when trouble will come..

dont stop to believe, dont stop to learn, dont stop to drop the tears

im tryin to cheer up this life..

maybe its hard to live on, but its not hard to cheer up, right?

maybe its hard to live on, but its not hard to solve the problem, right?

maybe its hard to stand up, but please dont give up everything that you have..

i know its hard to live on coz this life is too hard to pass through, but we always have the meaning of life and memories

i dont care its good or bad, its still memories

i dont care its wrong or right, its still the life and we will make everything right, dont we?

coz in this world, right can be wrong and also wrong can be right, it depends on how u see it

am i right?coz every people have their own sight, but we try to understand it..

dont doubt every single solution,,coz no matter what new trouble, new tears new smile will always waiting for us..

we live for that..we live for everything good or bad

we live for this people around us..

day become night, and in the tomorrow it will be the same..

wheel always change the side, up to down and become up again..

it have the diffrent colour..

remember that..coz live is never simple, but we need to live on

lay on each other, depend on how u make it right..

and we always have the reason..reason to make wrong into right..

song translate!!

2007-07-05T16:28:00.000+07:00

No one could ever know
how our relationship
is going...
some might get it wrong
and might understand as
only what their eyes could see

Perhaps only two of us, among those millions stars,
who really know what's exactly on our minds

Is it that really important……to follow the rule
that someone has made
what love is like

"No need to know where we are standing
No need to find any words to explain
no need to love like a couple ...I'm satisfied
only understanding is beyond anything in this world"

Even we are apart
and never be together
every night everyday
like any couples
Even there's no one could understand this love
At least ..only you who understand me..that's enough

Perhaps only two of us, among those millions stars,
who really know what's exactly on our minds

Is it that really important…..to follow the rule
that someone has made
what love is like....

when god show his way...i cant say anything,

2007-06-04T09:40:00.000+07:00

thx to god, that he give the miracle happen..maybe now im as human will start and think egois again.. sometime i dont one miracle just happen once..always want more and want the easiest way in life to handle everything..

i dont know, can i solve all my problem??my problem of life, about how hard this life play on me..i dont know what is god plan this time..but everything is related one to each other..

problem every problem i can pass, like i never found the end of all the problem..after i pass one problem, there is another problem come up in front of my eyes, and it hide between my bed.. make me hard to go to sleep and always think about it..cant stop thinking, cant stop wondering and always make new plan..try to keep moving and solving the problem that never end..

the other day, start thinking and wondering making planning for next term of time but it like my plan not gonna work at all..when all the plan look so perfect, have no trouble but suddenly it boom when problem come..all my plan ruin again..and must start it from the beginning again!!

but now i cant find any way to solve problem, and now problem already have plan for me for next month, and i still cant solve the previous problem..i dont know what is behind all the problem that god create for me..to break me into a piece or to give me a lesson that life is not easy like we thought..or every problem have their own meaning..but can god create the way when i cant solve the problem??or i just hoping and wishing about miracle again..like i just life with the miracle in my life!!

i dont know what way he want to show to me..and im speechless, clueless, and i almost give up to find all the problem solving..but i cant give up and i wont give up..im trying and tryin..hard to believe but that is life..when u run from problem and u cant solve it, u will run forever and blame about this life..i dont want run from problem and trouble..even i know its hard to face but it harder if u run from it..it seem so messed up with ur head..not just hiding under your bed..

god, i wont ask u about miracle all the time, but please lead me to the right way..guide me to the way that u want to show me..but if i cant find any path please that is the time u need to show miracle..

keep the path in my head, solve the problem that i ever had..
keep move on with my life, with all the past that keep me wake, to find the truth..
give me strong, dont let tears come up from ur eyes..it tore my heart so bad..

love of my life, meaning of the time..

2007-05-25T15:05:00.000+07:00

world already playing hard to me..
keep my eyes full of tears, tore my heart into a piece
put me in to the game that i must win in..

i choose it, i made it..
like a war that i give in, hold my dream when i put in.

make a lies, hold the time
fool my self into the bound..
fake the life that i am on
im the own of all the ground

i know my life is fake, i am just a lies..
never telling the truth, keep the mystery on mind
never regret, no worries, thats all the lies..
try to be the strongest one..

but there's something that made me live
about the burden that i cant gave it up
say good bye, let someone go..i cant make it happen!!
im not ready to leave, not even ready to lost

i must win the heart that keep me on
love of my life that i get real..
all the meaning of the time and answers of the lies..
the truth of the fake, full the emptiness of my mind, my heart, my soul

keep my self cry, growling and mumbling all the time
where'd you go this time??i just want you to stay in this life
dont you ever leave me, coz my life is nothing without you in my side
better you take my breath away and bring me with you all the time
dont leave me, coz u are my strength, never found someone like you in my life

you are the truth of all the lies, you are the light of all the darkness
you are the water for the thirst, you are the hope of my life

i found the meaning of the life when im with you,
looking for the ground that i never knew..
feel the real in every beat of my heart..

be strong, i need you
open your eyes, and see im nothing without you
hold me tight, im fragile
be my side, and i will be yours..

we pass everything together, be the truth and never put lies..

I WANNA SCREAM

2007-05-15T13:58:00.000+07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I REALLY WANNA SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE DO A MIRACLE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I BEG U...PLEASE!!!!

LOVE always makes me cry, either tears of joy or sadness..its hard to believe!!!

2007-05-03T11:13:00.000+07:00

i just remembered about blog "two thing always make connection and cant be separated, and always eternal like that" that i ever wrote..

when i realize love and hate, faith and doubt, truth and lies, trust and distrustful, long and close distance..
love and hate..always be like that!!but u will realize ur love is bigger than hate!!

i dont know why LOVE always makes me cry..
when i hurt someone that important to my life and i will cry..
when they hurt me, i will cry..
but when u hurt someone that u really love, you will feel horrible and tortured and want to take the time and want take all back..
in the other way, if someone that you love hurt u, tortured you, you will become so patient and wait even your heart crying but not even more than u hurt someone that you love..

i remembered when one of my friends in university ask me about his girlfriend, why his girlfriend told him " you the one who can make me laugh and cry in the same time" he become so confused and thought he done something bad to her girlfriend..
and that time i told him: "should all the tears come when u sad??even we know we crying because we sad or angry..but tears could come when we feel the joy and happiness..not always sadness can make us cry!! tears of joy that i called them.."

this time i will write about LOVE which always can makes me cry in sad way or either in the happy and joy..

too many things i already passed through..bad and good things and i always look of them and take the advantages..
but when i look of the bad or good thing, love is the main character that affect all of the things mostly..

i cant tell who's life that really makes me cry, you can guess, this is mine or the other people..
i really hate being cheated..cheated by my family, friends, lovers or anyone..
who can stand with lies??nobody cant..everybody want the truth!!
but behind the lies that is the truth, can u imagine that??
u lies to someone because u want show the truth to someone..
working really hard and always said "i have no problem at all dear, i can handle everything and i already finish the stuff that we must finish" but in the other hand the stuff not finished yet..u need work really hard and sleep less to accomplish everything until the truth spreading and you will feel u have been cheated..but in the other hand she want to prove that she really love you and want the best for you, she didnt want you know because she worried it will become your burden and she doesn't want to put any burden in your shoulder..
thats why i said loves always makes me cry...

when you can feel the joy and happiness, you cried
when you been hurt, you cried
when you cant protect someone that you love, you cried
when your lover prove her love to you, you will cry even more!!

love is need sacrifice, no matter what kind of sacrifice that you made..
sacrifice in every single time you made will show you the truth of love, when you really want safe someone that u love, protect them from their last breath..hold them and crying out loud, you want make it become yours..one last breath!!!
and suddenly you realize that you want stay together with them and being happy, do anything that they want, accomplish every single promise that you made for them, you will feel more alive when they still breathing and can do everything together..

you will think, when they are with you, you always feel free like wind that always been anywhere and everywhere..and you will feel fly with your freedom and care about them..even everything that you pass through will bring the tears to your eyes you want to do anything with them..
real love, true love that i've called it always been egoist but actually there is no egoism between love..you will feel more and more love that they give to you..its not about who is right who is wrong..its about the feeling, you will not feel that you've been hurt even they feel they hurt you..maybe u feel being hurt but not as much as you feel being love..sometime love is hurt..love is equal to tears..love is warmth that you feel and you shared with other people..love is understanding and faith also the sacrifice..lies just become little part of it..to make your love being more important!!
tears will always become the result of it..true love will bring lot of tears for the joy and happiness..
your day will always been complete when you see them beside you when you awake, just want them to be happy..you will never get bored with that until whenever..
and you will always feel tears in your eyes..
thats all i know about it!!!

lonely heart, waiting and waiting..just wondering ='(

2007-04-23T19:33:00.000+07:00

i dont know how many nights im waiting..this heart feel so lonely and miss someone so much!!
i cant do anything, only wondering and praying..let sadness fill my day and my night..
hour by hour waiting and wondering..day by day my heart tore little by little..
i wont give up..but i cant do anything only starring in the skies and pray to god that day like this will be end soon..this heart want to scream, want to cry..feel tired to beat..
god please show your way, give us the light so she can find her way to get back to us..
i dont want lose anyone in my life..i cant do anything just hoping you can help..
i just can praying to you and waiting of the answer that i expect to happen..
this heart really hurt and tore..
i let my love end when my life disjointed..but i dont want lose the feeling how to be loved..be loving!!
i dont want miss anything..
enough for crying and hurting my self..
i want u show ur love and give your hand to help..give her the light and show her to way to come back to us..
this heart really lonely, waiting and waiting..and keep wondering what happen without knowing the truth..please give us your miracle..
let the miracle happen god..
i beg u..i beg u for something that really can happen..
please do your miracle..
i hate see her suffer everything, let me suffer the pain..
dont let her cry, dont let her feel afraid..
ease the pain and ease the fearness god..
and bring her back to us..bring her back to me, her family, her friends..
bring her home..i will make her happy, i promise!!!

my mandarin lesson and my life getting harder and complicated..

2007-04-07T07:54:00.000+07:00

when i arrive in beijing i just have a lot of fun but now i just relise that my arrival in beijing not on the way that i want to accomplish..i go to wangfujing, fuzhuang, lotus supermarket, yong'an li silk market, shidan, zhong guan cun..and i just go to my good friend room to bother her when she want get study (how bad i am). i never relise that i should study harder and practice speak, writing or reading..now i just feel it, my lesson in the class already hard to get and it out of my hand..

1 month ago when my friend did her homework i just laugh and said "buat apa lu kerjain pr???" but now i really need to do my homework and make my self sick of those character..i hate writing though, so don't be shock my writing so bad, and when i go to RBT(real brewed tea) my mom called and she said "do not just having fun everyday and go out, becareful if you fail your study in there, practice a lot to speak..do not make your parent lost their face" then i suddenly just relize i have to much fun in here and never think about study..i want back to the line!!

so i already move my butt go into my desk every time i back from school, and study doing all my homework and practicing also remembering those character (now i see all the character are same). when i'm in the class, when my teacher give me back my homework he always said "bu cuo, hen hao" but when i have dictation and he saw my paper he feel confuse coz suddenly i forget all the character (coz it already full in my head) and he always said "yinni tong xue xie hanzi, fuxi kewen, ji shengci, yinni tongxue de shengzi haishi hanzi bu hao, hanguo tongxue de hanzi hen hao..ni men lianxi lianxi, xuexi hanyu..hanguo tong xue hen nuli"
so i cant said anything coz it like i've been tore by big knife in my heart coz im not study hard and im so lazy, and i want to prove that im not of one of the indonesian people that cant study well, almost all of my indonesian friends in the class so lazy!!man i need to go away from them..

i need to move out my butt from that laziness and stupidity!!damn i have 15 lessons but now it like i need to revise it everyday, everynight, every time, and i just put my face into serious stuff!!but i think i give bad impact to my good friend, now she being stress too -_-! actually she so smart and she can speak Chinese fluently (ask my parent if u not believe it) and i always stick to her and she become my mouth (but i knew everybody will be tired if they do samething over and over for everytime so i need to move out and try speak by my self) i dont have confident when i want to speak chinese like everything will be wrong!!!and i will lose my face when i get wrong!!my bad i have that kind of thinking so it hard to make me change become making mistake for good, im kind of person who learn from mistake that i made and everybody made, but for making mistake coz i want to learn??nope i dont want do it, coz i know it will be wrong and i dont want doing a mistake that i know it wrong..it hard to be me though!!and that person is me!

i want to study harder and make my parent and my family proud of me, my friends and my cousins not close their eyes when i walking in front of them..i dont want become nobodies coz i want to become somebodies in my life!!exactly in their life too!!but im so happy at least i can ask about the price of a bowl and spoon and i just said "aiyo hen gui le..gei wo pianyi ma??" and i see my one of my friend face so funny coz it is the first time i open my mouth in front of her in chinese language!!!

i just pray that i can study well in here and success for my study!!!jiayo....

CHINA CHINA CHINA.......

2007-03-10T07:30:00.000+07:00

last week i already arrive in china, and for your information beijing actually!!!
damn, i felt so tired and lonely...cant go online for the first time i arrive!!!but now, finally im able to go online AGAIN but internet connection in beijing really really pretty damn fuckin bad...when i connect my msn, suddenly my msn disconnect and need to reconnect again..but it not just try to reconnect coz it wont connect..so i dont know what to do then i downloading yahoo messanger again..and before i have problem with the internet connection i had problem with my notebook acer...argghhhhhh so i bought the new one..toshiba A100 not bad for me..actually thats pretty good coz i want new notebook, and my parent not allowed me to buy it before this accident happen (cant connect the ethernet) and now this is my 1st weekend, and i dont know what to do..i want to play basket ball but i cant bcoz i have no BALLS in here..i mean the ball for basketball..the ruber one with gas inside..hehehe

i think this will be pretty hell for me, i cant play basketball, and i eat a lot..i dont want gain my weight again...damn its fuckin hard to reduce my fat from my tummy..and its damn difficult to reduce ur weight when u stand between great taste of food (not really great taste but im pretty starving..)oh man..i dont know can i stand with this condition???actually my dorm is good, i have friends in here (they really nice and kind..but one of them will be make me live in hell i guess, i mean not yet but will be soon)thanks for my friends who always made company for me in my room and drink with me, doin the 作业 together even they have greater class..hiks!!

i miss my old friend, my bedroom in surabaya, my cousin in indo and in anywhere which spread in i dont know which part of the world..my parent but not my sibling yet hahaha how cruel i am not missing my sibling yet..i mean my last sibling, coz my 2nd sibling in here with me..

i wish i can speak Chinese soon and speak it with good and right pronunciation and i try to not fail..i hate for failing something!!!

i have nobody to get my back..

2007-01-31T18:41:00.000+07:00

i just wonder, what are u gonna do to someone that u love so much..ur family, friends or lover..

i have family but sometime i want stay far away frm them, actually i always want it happen even i know i dont want it..i have a lot of friends but its hard to make good one..
lover??i dont want talk bout it..its to complicated!!hard to explain..

i love them so much and i always think, if something happen to them i will get their back..
if they need me i will be there at least i do my best to get there..
if they want get rid of me..one thing i should do is stay away from them till they want me back or never..
i try my best to get everything right and in the right way!!even i know i ussually cant make the good one..

i just wonder who's gonna take my back??i thought nobody will do..
nobody care what i feel about..what life i can make, not even what things i gonna do..
nobody cares if im angry, sad,cry, feel disspointed or even "suicide" maybe..

sometime i love this life and want to enjoy it for a while..but life makes me sick..sometime it makes me to hate it!!

i dont know whats wrong with me..everything near me, someone who i love or something..i just make it worse than before..im always ruin it..

patheatic..ironic..what else i can say??sometime i've been so sarcastic..
i try to make my life seems brighter..can i do that??
i try to make my life easier, not complicated like i life in it..but i dont think i can catch that things..its like so far away from me..

happiness, fun, good life..who think i deserve for it??or maybe i dont deserve it right away..
nobody know me, never better..
im just pretend that im alive..thats it!!!

its good to pretend but im lil bit tired to be pretend anymore..should i do it more longer??

i cant even answer it by my self..who cares huh??

I HAVE MY OWN PRIVACY MAN!!!BEHAVE!!

2007-01-30T18:38:00.000+07:00

SHIT!!!TOTALLY I FEEL SO MESSED UP..

I ALWAYS PUT MY LAPTOP SCREEN IN OFF CONDITION when i take a shower and also i close my bed room door..

TODAY..i found my door open and my laptop screen SUDDENLY TURN ON..
actually i know who came into my room, that was my brother!!shit man i hate if someone cant respect my privacy!! i have my own room and i decide who can get INTO my room!!!if i said stay away then i mean it!!I will let somebody touch my stuff and get into my room or anything based on their attitude..if i found something bad and if i feel it can be threat my self..i will defense on my own!!
SO BEHAVE...

I hate my stuff been touched without unknown reason!!i dont like my SMS been read by somebody, inbox and also sent items..i hate if my chat log been checked out like i've done something bad and they need to know who im talking to and what im talked about!!

its like : "hey man..what did u do??u go into my room and open my laptop also open my mobile without my permission??daaa..even u are my brother u need to learn about attitude!!i hate ur behavior also ur attitude that u cant put your self away from my stuff!!!man everyone need privacy so do u, dont ya??u dont like if i touched ur mobile, so do i..you dont like if u chat with "someone" and i look at ur chat windows, its same with me!!you dont like ur stuff been touched and moved away from the place..i mean it..me too bro..if u dont mind i came to ur room coz ur room never locked, its not gonna happen to me..we diffrent creature man..we have diffrent sight and i dont want ANYBODY GET INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..i have my own reason!!thats why i always lock my door when i leave it somewhere, even i just go to the kitchen or living room!!i have my own behavior..if u dont like something, learn from it..just think if u dont like something messed up ur room or something, better u take it with ur self also..but if u dont mind if someone do something to u, not mean that u can do the samething to other people!!

watch and learn boy..u are my brother but u need to watch ur behavior..im so mad man..but u always take it like im kidding..BEHAVE MAN BEHAVE!!!!!! u are 1 year younger..and u supposed to be learn anything that what u do and dont..im so messed up man..

dont u dare to came into my room again without my permission..or touch my mobile..open the gallery or sms or anything!!!

I'M WARN YOU...AND I MEAN IT!!!STEP AWAY FROM MY DOOR IF U CANT GET PERMIT

the stupid things i did and didnt..NEVER REGRET IT

2007-01-24T22:47:00.000+07:00

maybe this is the 3rd time i open my blogger but i forget what my user name is..
haiz, long time not update my blogger..work stuff make me forget about anything..forget about my friendster my lesson in uni before and everything but i never forget with everybody near me and special for me!!wont forget bout them..
when i told to everyone, my family or my friends, about my study, that i leave my study and work , they turn become pros and cons..
some of them said its so unbelieveable that i can leave my study that 1 year to go to graduation things..but some of them said, good luck in everything u do!! but the other said wah u become big boss, good if u want help ur dad run the business..
i just think sort of things in my mind..
why i leave my school?? coz i believe if i want go to school, i can go anytime i want..school dont have age limit to go for it!!when im going to old, rich and nothing to do, if i want to go to uni i will go..
why i work??coz not every people in this world, even they have master or PhD they can find job with easily..world facing jobless problem..and i have the chance to work, what should i've waiting for??to lost this chance??at least when my friend start to learn to work..i already have all the experienced..if i failed i have more time to learn it..im one step ahead from them..and i never regret it..NEVER EVER REGRET..

2006-11-23T21:47:00.000+07:00

THIS WAY UP
á

Cici has fragile contents which may break!

From Go-Quiz.com

AM I THAT FRAGILE????DON'T BREAK MY HEART...LOL!!!

2006-11-23T21:28:00.000+07:00

How to make a CiCi

Ingredients:

1 part success

5 parts silliness

1 part ego

Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of caring

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

2006-11-16T17:16:00.000+07:00

35 Quest that show what kind of person i am..self questioner!!!

1. music, movie or books?
Music is my life!!!

2. smoking, alcohol, or sex?
SEX..??

3. dogs or cats?
dogs

4. pink or blue?
blue

5. chess or dama?
chess

6. rent dvd or go to a movie theater?
movie theater

7. typical or unusual?
unusual

8. computer or cellphone?
cellphone..

9. soap or shampoo?
shampoo

10 hot coffee or cold drinks?
cold drinks

11. party, drinking, sleep-overs, movie marathon?
party

12. family or friends?
family and friends...both

13.cry or fight?
fight..fight..

14. homebuddie or out-going?
out-going

15. long hair or short hair?
short hair

16. happy go lucky or careful planner?
careful planner

17. risky dangerous or play safe?
risky dangerous

18. quiet or loud?
loud

19. spiritual or i do what i think is right?
i do what i think is right

20. follows parents or follows personal instinct?
Follow parents..they know better than us

21. leader or follower?
leader

22. lover or a fighter?
lover

23. Faithful or to see is to believe?
faithful

24. common or extraordinary?
extraordinary~!

25. popular, kick ass*, geek, weird, brainy,
sporty?
kick ass*

26.more of action or words?
action

27.says "i luv u" always or seldom?
Always if u still feel the love..

28. good or bad girl/boy?
good girl but not really good..a lil bit naughty i guess!!

29. simple/complicated?
keep it simple..

30. wisdom/witty?
wisdom

31. rich or simple living?
RICH!

32. strict parents or parents don't care situation?
Strict parents i guess

33. human being or alien?
human being

34. clubing or live music?
clubbing

35. tattoo or piercing?
piercing

how could it be??

2006-11-15T17:57:00.000+07:00

this heart, it used to be empty for so long..
my heart already gone, take my soul from this body..
made me live without it, like dead body walk without thinking..
and this tears already dried long time ago!!

this heart, can't feel any love no more
i'm already dead and never come back
i wont come back for long time, till this soul burried

i never want my past back to me, i want forget it..
i know that hard to do, but what should i do??
i even hate my self, and i want to run away from this world!!!

the smile gone away, the soul taken
tears already dried, this body wont move
this voice already gone, i cant talk no more
this blood already burn up, i cant feel no more

im not the best, i cant be the best
but i will try, even this soul not with me
i will work hard to get it back, even i have no smile in my face
should i go??should i stand and not moving to anywhere??

can i catch u??i just can stand to see u walk away..
leave me behind, and wont go back!!!

should i let this heart go??or should i get it back??
can u let me to chase u again? can u let me make u happy??
i dont want to stand, i want move..
i dont want to be leaved by, i want to be with you..

how could it be??how could i smile when i see u sad??
how could i'm happy while u sad?? how could enjoy my life if u cant??
how could i take ur heart if u wont let me??

i just can scream...
i just can punch the wall..
all the wall become my witness for my sadness and happiness
this room become my friend to reduce my sadness..but it just for temporary

i am the dead body that can walk
i am the ghost who can walk in sunshine
i am the human who cant feel anything...

this pain..this heart..i cant feel it no more..
this heart no longer beating..
it stop by the time!!!

i hate my self when it stop, but what should i do??

let me share it with u..

LIFE of DANCING...SOUL and BODY MOVIN

2006-11-12T10:03:00.000+07:00

frist time i saw good dancer from highschool student..nice dance
this is the real dance..make soul and body burn become one in the music!!
not just move ur hip or nod ur head..whole body make the move from the heart..

this is that i said dance..which can make u enjoy to do it anytime u want..
when u listen to music u will never stop movin and u think how bad that u cant dance..

i love dancing..not ballroom dancing..
dancing is expression of heart and anger..
dancing is happiness and make ur stress gone away..
move ur body and put ur soul in it!!!

feel the music and create new move..
feel the music and do the move...
do it..do it.. do it...

no matter what kind of dancing that u have..
it will be ur soul when u do it...

that is life of dancing...
life when u can enjoy it..
life when u can make it..

soul and body become one burried in songs..

like when u make out...or better when u making love with the song...

express ur self with the music in ur head!!!

make it out!!!!

FINANCE VS BUSINESS COMMUNICATION VS MARKET BEHAVIOR

2006-11-10T20:37:00.000+07:00

Today..i had finance persentation and i dont know why i feel like im ruin it..
and im still must submit the written report from my persentation..
" FINANCIAL ANALYSIS OF PT.INDOFOOD SUKSES MAKMUR.Tbk " wat should i know about it??
its not my company..and i dont know how to make the financial report la..my uncle said even PhD can not do that with guarentee 100% that will be correct!!!

and beside my FINANCIAL REPORT i have to present about CROSS CULTURE MARKET BEHAVIOR for market behavior lst assignment..tuesday at 21 november, it will be hell for me, and my lecturer already ask my class to make a product and try to sell it..persuade other people and sell it..even that task not hard for me but we need to make written report again..oohhh i hate written report!!!

still having another assignment..business communication..my lecturer want me to make research about sales..and her task about how to write report with correctly based on research like questioner..oh my god why i always work that related with writting a report??

the worst is all of the assignment must submitted in the end of this month..end of november??what the hell is that??

why i must get this burden??

FAILED FINANCE, i have anger inside me!!!

2006-11-08T17:51:00.000+07:00

I got bad news, i had my finance test result and i failed it!!!!
I had try hard before...
today i cant handle my anger to my self!!!

FINALLY I found the way to throw it away...
went to basketball competition and shout out loud in there...
now i lost my voice and i reduce my stress hahaha

I'm really forget my past, and try to walk away...
welcome to the future...and i wont regret anything that already happen!!!

no worries. no fear. inside me!!!

Two thing that always make connection and cant be separated, and always eternal like that

2006-11-07T21:35:00.000+07:00

I learn something from this world..
weird but it is exsist in this life and it is always happen no matter what it goes..
two diffrent thing that be contrary always connected with one and the other..

faith and doubt...
sometime u have faith of something that u believe, but
one day u will doubt it again...till u can find the real answer of it
even u already find the answer u will start doubt the thing again, always like that...

trust and distrustful...
when u cant trust someone, u will try trust her
but when u already trust her, sometimes u think can she be trust??
or should i judge her in the bad way??

love and hate...
when u love someone, and want to keep her..
someday u feel like u will hate her because of such of simple thing...
and when u hate her, u will be back to love her like she is the one and no one can replace her..

truth and lie...
u tell the lie, u tell the truth
which one u think is the best??when u want keep the feeling of someone that u love??
sometime u tell the truth and sometime u tell the lie's
when u think better she dont know anything then u tell the lie
and when u change ur mind u will tell her that u had lie to her and u will tell the truth..
truth and lie cant be seperated in this life, coz sometime we need to tell lie, even i dont like when someone tell me the lie..

long and close distance...
when u have close distance with someone that u love, u feel bored and in ur heart u make a wish if someday u have long distance relationship with her...because she so disturbing..
but when u already have long distance relationship with her, u will ask to god "bring her back to my side" and u promise to take care her..u miss the way she laugh, when u look her eyes, and go to anywhere just with her...u will appreciate her exsistance beside u...

u can't change that fact..
u miss her and want bring her to ur side..
u want keep tell the truth but u must lie so u not harm her heart and make her sad..
u want trust but u think negative and u untrust her and u change ur mind again...
u have the faith but sometime u doubt her..
when u doubt her u will start hate her and want her step away from ur life..
but u cant tell her bcoz the truth from deepest of ur heart u still love her till the end of ur life
u will always love her even she lies or she hate u or she doubt u..
u will always love her even when u hate her but u love her...(confuse huh??)
and in the end u want spent ur life time with her, no matter what, and u dont care about the diffrence between u and her..

because i know diffrence can be yoked if u want it...
u will understand her, u will always look to ur likeness with her..
and u will feel so happy when u near her..hug her and kiss her..take her hand and make her laugh!!

time will prove the truth..all will be become one..

it always be eternal like that, but u will have strong love with her if u can understand about the game of life and love..u will break the game and love her for forever!!till the last breath u take!!

and u will said i love u when im happy and im sad
i always love u when i alive and even in my death..
my soul always love you until this soul dissapear from this world...
if im in hell i always love u and pray to god so u cant see me if im in the hell
if im in heaven i always love u, and i will lookin for u to keep u in my side..
when this soul already out from this body, i will always love you
untill this circle of life disjointed....